Showing posts with label mourning. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mourning. Show all posts

Thursday, October 15, 2020

Forever, Interrupted by Taylor Jenkins Reid

Forever, InterruptedForever, Interrupted by Taylor Jenkins Reid
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This is an excruciatingly sad book and I seriously cried almost all the way through it. The strange part was that I still really liked it. Taylor Jenkins Reid really captured the pain and peculiar thoughts of grief.

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Friday, October 25, 2019

Mala by Melinda Lopez

MalaMala by Melinda Lopez
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This is so unbelievably good. This is the (Cuban-American) Boomer/ Gen X Death of Ivan Ilyich. Also if you want an approximation of many of the things (but definitely not all) I personally experienced with my dad's and my mother's deaths this is eerily close. My parents were very young though, my dad was 61 and my mom was late 50s. They very much did not want to die and were very scared. Both fought to the end, though my mother did agree to hospice in what turned out to be her last month. She didn't call me "mala" but it was strongly implied any time I tried to restrict any of her choices which I avoided a great deal.

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Friday, September 20, 2019

Light from Other Stars by Erika Swyler

Light from Other StarsLight from Other Stars by Erika Swyler
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This is such a beautiful and at times subtle book. It's literary science fiction, ala Le Guin. It's the love story between parents and children, and between childhood friends, and about the closest adult friends.

It's a story about a fully independent woman and why she's so independent, and how her life is full of everything that matters.

And it's about time, and how the real physics of time is so magical-seeming, and how our time in an important relationship is just a touch between two people's very separate time on earth. It's about how our era defines and intimately impact us. It's also about a love of science in general, which I definitely share.

Also, as someone who lost my father whom I had a very close relationship with, I could relate so much to the grief, and I could relate also to the beauty in that grief. Swyler conveyed that in such an evocative way.

A gorgeous book overall.

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Wednesday, January 24, 2018

Long Way Down by Jason Reynolds

Long Way DownLong Way Down by Jason Reynolds
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This is incredibly sad, dark, witty, funny, and awesome. It reminds me a little of A Christmas Carol, but it's completely its own. I also love the conceit of the poetic form to the dribble of the ball on the court or in the small space of an elevator.

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Friday, November 17, 2017

It's Okay to Laugh by Nora McInerny Purmort

It's Okay to Laugh (Crying Is Cool Too)It's Okay to Laugh by Nora McInerny Purmort
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This book is wonderful. It's honest, raw, and hilarious. The next thing I'm going to say is going to sound like it's not that hilarious, but I swear it is. In rapid succession she had a miscarriage, her father died, and her husband died of cancer. Having been through something similar with both of my parents dying of cancer (they were in their early 60s, I was in my 30s), I could relate to a lot of her feelings and appreciate the sometimes dark humor. Obviously, that's still totally different than what she went through, but she has a whole section on how grief is lonely because it's so different for everyone, and yes, that part is also spot on. Reading the book is like having a friend that really gets it go through the bad stuff with you.

I might be a little OCD, but the chronology in the book was crazy and I couldn't get a handle on what happened when. I'm still not totally sure when the last part of the book took place chronologically, but for me, that was the only small flaw in this nearly perfect memoir.

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Tuesday, November 14, 2017

The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual EnlightenmentThe Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment by Eckhart Tolle
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This is a good simplification and modernization of Buddhism to make it less religious-y for modern readers. (Ie., never mind about rebirth and hungry souls, and what not.) It's in a question-and-answer format which is more effective for this subject than it sounds like it would be.

That said, I think it's a stretch to say the Bible or Christianity is referencing these "enlightenment" frames of mind. Also, the small section on menstruation, not necessary, and hard to take from a man that really has no idea what he's talking about. Wouldn't have loved that part even if a woman wrote it though.

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Tuesday, September 20, 2016

H is for Hawk by Helen Macdonald

H is for HawkH is for Hawk by Helen Macdonald
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

Helen Macdonald writes beautifully. I am touched by the sorrow of her losing her father. I lost my father too and made me (more) crazy for years. I can relate.

BUT this book feels like a talented writer sat down to complete a book by adding things for word count related to: 1) the incredibly difficult task of training a a huge goshawk, 2) her father's death, 3) her father's photography (small amount), 4) T.H. White's book The Goshawk, 5) the diaries of T.H. White, 6) T.H. White's other writings, 7) T.H. White's homosexuality even though this is barely related to his goshawk training and in no way has anything to do with her sexuality or her father's.

Also, these topics appear to be in no chronological order or any other logical order. It's so random. It doesn't come together for me. And despite all this craziness, the book is exceptionally dull. So boring. I just forced myself through it out of sheer stubbornness.

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Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Using KonMari to Reduce Dad's Books 2015

As you may know from earlier posts, I had kept about 26 boxes of my dad's books after he passed away. After 4 years, I had still reduced or read very few of them. I had tried just looking through them, getting a friend to help (hi Ash!), and finally doing one author letter at a time. The last strategy was going a little better... but still really slow.

Enter Kondo. In three days, the books I chose to keep are in three bookshelves, and hundreds of books that I would not have ever read were donated. I was shocked how much clarity I had in the book selection after 4 years of being totally confused. When I look at the bookshelves they spark joy! I want to read the books, and the arrangement reminds me of being at home and visiting my dad.

April 2015
Suddenly I have clarity on my dad's books! Donate! Donate!

Konmari- books-001 
Less than half the number I started with, but still, admittedly, a lot.

Okay, we still have a lot of books. We probably always will. But when I look at them they make me happy now in a way they did not before. They don't stress me or make me feel guilty. They make me look forward to pulling the next adventure off the shelf.

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

The Heart of Grief: Death and the Search for Lasting Love by Thomas Attig

The Heart of Grief: Death and the Search for Lasting LoveThe Heart of Grief: Death and the Search for Lasting Love by Thomas Attig
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Actually it took me nearly five years to decide to stop reading it. It was pretty painful every time I read it. I'm not sure if it helped, but my ability to read some of it at a time was an interesting measure of the progress of my grief. Over five years, I mostly came to the same conclusions as the author, so I do agree with him.

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Monday, October 27, 2014

Four Years Later: I Am Still Hoarding My Dad's Books 2014

It's been four years since my father passed away. He wasn't a very materialistic person and he valued only his books and his music. I ignored the issue of his music because I didn't particularly share his musical taste, but I also didn't know what to do about records, tapes, and CDs. I pretty much just listen to free music on the cloud which is good for not hoarding.

But the books! I shared his love of reading, both generally and sometimes specifically. And even the sight of them all clustered together reminds me of my dad. Looking at my books mixed with Kevin's doesn't give the same effect. Many of his books were old and the choices unique to him.  But there are so many of them! It's a wonder we were able to move them. I spent hours packing and unpacking them, and poor Kevin dragged them down one flight of stairs and up two. He must really love me.

When we move again one day, there are too many to take to a new place, and even if they weren't, I certainly won't read all of them. So in the interest of not hoarding I promised to cull them. That was four years ago, and a few of the most terrible out-dated non-fiction books have been culled here and there, but the vast majority of them remain.

Okay, so I have a plan now: I will go by Author last name. On any given day that I deal with the books I will go through one letter, and decide which are staying and which are going. I feel strongly that this will work! Now let's see.


Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Getting Rid of Books! 2013

Well, we've finally started to actually get rid of some of our books. Since getting rid of my dad's books was so hard for me, I started with my own books. Kevin and I have both gone through all the nonfiction books we keep in our living room. We still haven't gone through all the fiction upstairs though, and there's been woefully few dad-books that have left the house. But we've now donated about 23 boxes of books so we're definitely making progress.

Also, even though there haven't been as many reviews as I would like, I have actually started and not-finished countless books that aren't on here, so I'm going to try to wrap some of those up in the near future.

Friday, March 29, 2013

Avoidance

Why am I reading all books my father didn't read when I have hundreds of his books upstairs and my entire goal here is to read his books? Sounds like a good question right?

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Books My Father Read

I have recently become addicted to book again the way I was when I was a small kid. I read anything I have reason to believe might be awesome.

I read the books I inherited from my dad after he passed away in 2010. This blog started as a project of mourning to read the books I kept, but has now become a personal passion. I also take recommendations from my husband who's a writing instructor, my friends who prefer different types of books, and Goodreads and Youtube reviewers who catch my attention.

This is my rating system for clarification:

5 Stars = THIS BOOK MADE ME A BETTER, MORE INTERESTING PERSON. FOR THE LOVE OF PUPPIES, READ IT!
4 Stars = This book was really good! Read it!
3 Stars = I enjoyed this book. I'm glad I read it.
2 Stars = This book a little bad. I wouldn't recommend it.
1 Stars = This book is kind of evil and takes a little joy and goodness out of the world.
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