Lead from the Outside by Stacey Abrams

Lead from the Outside: How to Build Your Future and Make Real Change by Stacey Abrams
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This is really good. Much like Stacey Abrams is a jack-of-all-trades this book cannot be fit into one neat category: it's part political memoir, of course, part self-help business book, part antiracism book, part you-should-just-read-it-okay? As I learned more and more about Abrams I was reminded of Benjamin Franklin. She's a renaissance woman! We're too often discouraged from this wide approach to knowledge and career to the detriment of current society, I think.

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“Never tell yourself no. Let someone else do it.”

“What’s not right is giving credence to bad actions, and thereby becoming complicit.”

It Was All a Lie by Stuart Stevens

It Was All a Lie: How the Republican Party Became Donald Trump by Stuart Stevens
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This is pretty much what I want to say to Senator Ben Sasse and all the other Republicans who claim to be "reasonable." Let's never forget how they betrayed everything our country stands for because they were afraid of losing power.

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Raising Trump by Ivana Trump

Raising Trump by Ivana Trump
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

This is more of an autobiography of Ivana Trump with a special focus on her children (and written contributions from Don Jr, Ivanka, and Eric). She’s had an interesting life and her book is very readable. There’s barely a bad word about Donald Trump and that’s just as well, because despite picking this book, I am sick of reading about him. It was an accidental break from him.

I don’t buy it though. 1) She claims Donald wasn't particularly rich when she married him. Compared to what? He paid the tab for her entire table of models, right? And we all know he inherited all of his wealth from his father and made investments that only cost him money. 2) Also, hard work is nice, but what about all the hard-working employees Trump failed to pay? 3) I'm glad that she feels she worked hard at the family business but who was going to tell her otherwise if she was slacking? How would she have qualified for such a job in the first place if it wasn't the family business? 4) But okay, supposing she did work hard, if you happen to be at the intersection of hard work and good luck it’s easy to say that hard work got you where you are. But what about all the many people who work just as hard for their whole lives and don’t get a fraction of the pie? To overlook them or to purposely look away is to miss the entire story.

I don’t buy her biased view of her children, here they are supporting the worst administration in my lifetime so I snorted reading about her children’s charities when Donald Trump stole money from his and Eric resigned from his for reasons that are unclear to me from news stories.

It's my experience that people that struggle in communist regimes tend to over-value ambition and the accumulation of money precisely because their lack of political freedom was tied to a lack of economic freedom. I despise tyranny, and I am not advocating laziness, but I think the helping professions are of greater spiritual value than those in which the only focus is the accumulation of wealth. And when the accumulation of wealth results in active harm to employees (such as those Donald did not pay) it is an evil.

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Melania and Me by Stephanie Winston Wolkoff

Melania and Me: The Rise and Fall of My Friendship with the First Lady by Stephanie Winston Wolkoff
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

This is a good primer on what happens when you try to befriend the devil or the devil's "sweet" wife. But this doesn't just apply to the Trumps or evil people in politics more generally, I think it's a pretty good breakdown on how and why you can't expect to successfully deal with people who break rules, laws, take advantage of others, or lack basic empathy.

It's also an excellent reminder of why it's important not to sign non-disclosure agreements, though frankly, I have signed one myself. Often, when people are confronted with such agreements they are tied to money and the signee feels that they don't have a choice of whether or not to sign. But if you don't absolutely have to sign one, do not sign!

Also, I find am very suspicious of Maggie Haberman's journalism now.

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Untamed by Glennon Doyle

Untamed by Glennon Doyle
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Yes and no. It's fun and she has some good ideas sometimes but her thinking and writing is a bit of a mess. She contradicts herself a lot and seems to know very little about academic feminism though she styles herself as the greatest feminist ever. I liked it, and I like her, but I can live without her consumerist version of feminism where you can do whatever you want (because it sells stuff). She doesn't even actually behave that way in real life, instead trying very hard to do good and help people through community organizers. To that end, she seems to suspect there's more to feminism but because she hasn't given it any real study, she doesn't realize she's cherry-picking from contradictory feminist camps. I am not an expert either, but I know enough to know her philosophy is flawed. As I said though, I loved a lot of her ideas (possibly the ones appropriated from her therapist but I'll take it). Her type of Christianity is very similar to mine (though not completely) and I appreciate that as well.

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What I Talk About When I Talk About Running by Haruki Murakami

What I Talk About When I Talk About Running by Haruki Murakami
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

It was pleasant enough to read if you're not a runner but are a Murakami reader (like me). It seems like he ran out of things to discuss despite the book's short length since he started talking about swimming as well.

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Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain

Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly by Anthony Bourdain
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

An impressively profane and funny memoir about life in restaurant kitchens. You can tell from his language and allusions that he's been hyper-educated (not just in food) though tries to put forward a bad-boy chef persona. I read this after Bourdain died and so there were some passages I found chilling and nearly prescient, but I can't make sense of his suicide at all.

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Dear Girls by Ali Wong

Dear Girls: Intimate Tales, Untold Secrets, & Advice for Living Your Best Life by Ali Wong
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This is actually hilarious. She's no-holds-barred and often veers in grossness, but whatever, she is so funny. Also, she is the only other person I've ever heard of who had the exact same problem with the epidural on her first birth as me. (We both had no problems the second time so clearly it was the anesthesiologist.)

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American Sniper by Chris Kyle

American Sniper: The Autobiography of the Most Lethal Sniper in U.S. Military History by Chris Kyle
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I am starting with my bias because it deeply colors my entire reading of the book and therefore my review. My bias is first of all that I am one of those people who strongly supported our military personnel but thought it was fairly obvious that we should not be at war in Iraq as they had nothing whatsoever to do with 9/11 and there was also clearly no evidence that they had weapons of mass destruction. I was disturbed they wouldn't allow proper inspections of course, but war is a really big commitment and precisely because I support our military people, I thought we shouldn't endanger them unless we had a really good reason. My second bias is that I am one of those super annoying good works Christians, who doesn't believe that faith alone is all it takes to be in God's (metaphorical) good graces. I know, we are the most inconvenient and annoying, but with that out of the way, I turn to the book.

I thought seeing Chris Kyle's perspective was really enlightening because his thinking is so unlike my own and so unlike that of most authors I read. Expanding the way I view the world is a huge part of the reason I read books, so 5 stars for that. I thought his point about some of the rules of war endangering servicemen and women was especially salient, and I would hope that all the military heads read his book.

My issue is that Kyle refused to engage with any kind of critical thinking or philosophy in this book and that is really important when the book is fundamentally about having the most kills in a war with a poor justification. While he claims some general philosophical protection from Christianity, and some from the demonstrated sexism and cowardliness of his opponents, I was left cold. His philosophy is not actually the philosophy of Western Judeo-Christians, but the philosophy of Roman and Greek warriors to which Judeo-Christianity sprung up in direct opposition. He is a hero very much like Achilles, celebrated for his physical might in battle. WWJD-people need not apply to this story. I appreciate the risks he took for the love of our country. I love our country: our values as a democracy, the people who live in our country, and the troops who protect it. And I appreciate his honesty throughout. And I'm sorry he was killed after his return from the war while engaged in helping a fellow veteran. But giving his gun to a veteran he knew was struggling mentally is a pretty good indication of the type of critical-thinking lack throughout this book.

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We Are Never Meeting in Real Life. by Samantha Irby

We Are Never Meeting in Real Life.: Essays by Samantha Irby
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I really like Samantha Irby as a person, but I didn't like this one as much as Meaty. Possibly because I felt like she took aim at my own personal lameness in this one. Haha. (Ex: I once didn't have a TV and would totally talk about how I did other things, just like Irby mocked. I have a TV now though. It even has Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime, and Disney so I'm not acting snotty about not watching TV. Ha!)

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Meaty by Samantha Irby

Meaty by Samantha Irby
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Five stars for incredible raunchy entertainment value. It was also pretty interesting, touching, and funny. Irby is definitely smart and funny.

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The Problem with Everything by Meghan Daum

The Problem with Everything: My Journey Through the New Culture Wars by Meghan Daum
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

She's a great writer, and though I definitely don't agree with everything she writes, I share many of the same frustrations. I am also a Generation X feminist, and I struggle with a lot of the changes that are taking place, both good and bad. When I was in my 20s, I was not yet familiar with serious feminist thought and writing, or for that matter, serious thought and writing about racism and economics which both inform my current understanding of feminism. I also hadn't experienced more of the snags women face as they grow older in our society so my experience was also only partially informative. But I also remember thinking what a dinosaur my fairly young mother could be at times, so I'm concerned about turning into a dinosaur as well.

This is the sort of book we should all be discussing at a book club. It presents a real challenge to both our ingrained and developing views.

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The End of Your Life Book Club by Will Schwalbe

The End of Your Life Book Club by Will Schwalbe
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I loved this book because Mary Anne Schwalbe is my new hero. To be half the person she is would probably be a wild success. Also, I love books about books! My reading list has been revised. I've read some of the books mentioned but I hope to reread this after reading more of its recommendations. Will Schwalbe's mother is dying and there is a little wisdom about the end of life in it, but it's mostly a book about how to live your life well.

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Open Book by Jessica Simpson

Open Book by Jessica Simpson
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

The beginning and endings are really interesting and it feels like she's being really honest even about her own shortcomings and secrets. I think there's a lot here for her fans, and for people who worry a lot about their own flaws or unhappiness. But there's also a bit of a disconnect because the rest of us can't, for example, run out to get plastic surgery on our post-pregnancy bellies. But I guess it's good to know that it's useless to compare ourselves to celebrities when they're honest like this.

In general, I think I might not be the right audience for celebrity memoirs because I'm not huge into pop culture, and as much as I try not to, I unfairly compare the writing to more literary memoirs.

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Permanent Record by Edward Snowden

Permanent Record by Edward Snowden
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Really interesting and informative regarding US technological internal spying capabilities. Explains Snowden's behavior whether or not you agree with it. It makes me want to reread Clapper's book now that I have the other side of the argument.

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How Dare the Sun Rise by Sandra Uwiringiyimana

How Dare the Sun Rise: Memoirs of a War Child by Sandra Uwiringiyimana
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

A powerful and moving memoir about Uwiringiyimana's experiences in the Congo, a Burundi refugee camp, and finally New York. Her story is important and she's a very relatable writer.

The horrifying thing is that the ethnic cleansing in the Congo has barely slowed down. In January of 2019: https://www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-46896159. In general, all the news from The DR of Congo is bad: https://www.bbc.com/news/topics/cvenzmgylgwt/democratic-republic-of-congo.

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Real Friends by Shannon Hale

Real Friends by Shannon Hale
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

After my 8-year-old son read this I saw that it had good reviews from adults so I read it too. I could really relate to some of Shannon Hale's childhood experiences and I think this is a wonderful book about how difficult it is to be a kid and to form friendships as a kid. I think especially as adults, we romanticize elementary school as the simple time when making friends is easy before popularity because a roadblock but it's true that elementary school often means that children are completely indelicate about forming or breaking off friendships. It's also a reminder that these breaks can be extremely painful.

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Life Undercover by Amaryllis Fox

Life Undercover: Coming of Age in the CIA by Amaryllis Fox
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

There is some stuff, particularly when she is in high school, that is difficult to wrap my mind around. But overall a very interesting book that inspires a lot of thought about what our foreign policy and how much we ask of our intelligence agency public servants.

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The Light of the World by Elizabeth Alexander

The Light of the World by Elizabeth Alexander
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This reminded me a lot of Joan Didion’s The Year of Magical Thinking except I liked it better because I could palpably feel the love and loss of Alexander's husband Ficre. Alexander's writing is wonderful, and to read this book is to understand love on this earth a little better.

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Ongoingness by Sarah Manguso

Ongoingness: The End of a Diary by Sarah Manguso
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I liked this book a lot. It's only a little bit about the author keeping a diary, it's actually about time, and life, death, and motherhood. It conjured up my horror at our our ceaseless march towards not just death but oblivion. I'm a complicated type of Christian that doesn't think the universe owes me eternity, but rather that I owe the universe a lot of sacrifice to others. So to me, as to many others, the oblivion is a real thing that makes it hard to justify the little daily acts, and losing memories- mental or physical- is very much a step towards that oblivion.

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