The Unwinding of the Miracle by Julie Yip-Williams

The Unwinding of the Miracle: A Memoir of Life, Death, and Everything That Comes After by Julie Yip-Williams
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I lost both of my parents to cancer, my dad when he was 61 and I was 31, and my mom when she was 60 and I was 38. Since losing my dad I’ve read a lot, including a number of these end of life books. The good ones come from people who either gave thought to how to live life before being diagnosed or read a lot of literature throughout their life. The worst are a hodgepodge of memoir and random “deep” thoughts with no organizing theme.

In this case, Yip-Williams life story is somewhat interesting though spread out throughout the book. I’m especially interested in her solo-legally-blind travels. Otherwise, I would only recommend this to people who want to mine the book for colon cancer specifics, which admittedly might be useful.

Also, the whole thing about her husband's hypothetical second wife was a bit much. Granted I'm not dying of cancer, but I really love my husband, and I imagine (and hope) that if I died he'd marry someone completely awesome. The last thing I'd want to do is leave them with a list of musts and can'ts to make them feel guilty about their decisions when I'm not even around. Wanting your kids to be raised a particular way is completely understandable, I'd want them to be loved by a stepmom more than I'd worry about their music classes. And I'd even want them to be happy enough to be able to call her mom. Real love is about them, not me.

For me, the best part of the book might be her husband's epilogue. It's truthful and full of selfless love. It also provides a pretty good analysis of the reality of a bad cancer diagnosis and a long terrible illness.

If you want end-of-life wisdom I recommend: Man’s Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl who survived the Holocaust, The Bright Hour by Nina Riggs who died of cancer, and Bright-Sided by Barbara Ehrenreich (about the annoying positivity forced on cancer patients and others). Or you know, actual books about philosophy, religion, and literature generally.

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