The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John M. Gottman

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert by John M. Gottman
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I actually read this some years ago and then forgot I read and took it out of the library again. Kevin asked, "Didn't you already read that?" Yes. Yes, I did. So that I don't forget again, these are the 7 principles:

1- Know each other well. Dreams, etc.
2- Like and respect each other.
3- Talk about daily stuff
4- Let your partner influence you/ change your mind about things. Have an influence give-and-take.
5- Solve your small problems
6- Deal with your fundamental differences with small compromises
7- Create your home culture, create and celebrate traditions, etc.

Avoid 4 big problems:
1- Criticism about the person (as opposed to complaining about a specific problem)
2- Being contemptuous of the person
3- Being defensive in an argument
4- Stonewalling/ shutting the other person out, not responding, etc.



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