The Problem of Pain by C.S. Lewis

The Problem of Pain by C.S. Lewis
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

The basic premise of the book makes sense - pain has many positive purposes. He focuses on the religious and spiritual purposes and ignores, for example, the clear evolutionary purpose of pain. Additionally, many of his side points have a very weak premise that Lewis takes for granted and therefore the overall argument fails. Worth reading if you're Christian or borderline. It would probably be a waste of time for nonbelievers or agnostics.

Finally, in my opinion, Lewis skips the most troubling kind of pain- the pain sick children suffer. That's a pretty big oversight.

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Beyond This Horizon by Robert A. Heinlein

Beyond This Horizon by Robert A. Heinlein
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

This reads like a draft by an exceptionally interesting though potentially dangerous teenage boy.

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Catch and Kill by Ronan Farrow

Catch and Kill: Lies, Spies, and a Conspiracy to Protect Predators by Ronan Farrow
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I didn’t think I was interested in this book because I figured I knew the basics about the #metoo movement but this book blew my mind. It’s All the President’s Men + Bad Blood + pick your favorite true-crime thriller.

I honestly think I need to reread this because it covers so many important topics. 1) The importance of ethical and dedicated journalism, 2) the power and often evil of the good-old-boys network, 3) the inequality of a justice system that allows for SLAPP suits and countersuits to burden people with the cost of a legal defense until they abandon their claims, 4) the deep shadiness of Non-Disclosure Agreements and the general harm they cause to our society, 5) how impossible it is to get people to believe women were sexually assaulted even when EVERYONE KNOWS they were sexually assaulted.

Also, I didn't think it was possible for me to hate Matt Lauer more than I already did, but, yeah, it's possible.

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An American Marriage by Tayari Jones

An American Marriage by Tayari Jones
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This was very good and I definitely recommend it. It just sort of missed being one of my favorites this year because it lacked a little something. While I really became invested in Roy and all of Roy's parents, Celeste and her entire family lacked the same kind of depth. Andre was a decent enough character but I just didn't feel his significant connection to Celeste. Maybe I just didn't believe enough in Celeste as a character to believe in her relationships generally.

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Life Undercover by Amaryllis Fox

Life Undercover: Coming of Age in the CIA by Amaryllis Fox
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

There is some stuff, particularly when she is in high school, that is difficult to wrap my mind around. But overall a very interesting book that inspires a lot of thought about what our foreign policy and how much we ask of our intelligence agency public servants.

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The Sailor Who Fell from Grace with the Sea by Yukio Mishima

The Sailor Who Fell from Grace with the Sea by Yukio Mishima
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

The writing is 5-star writing, but to me, the message of the book is 1-star. Noboru espouses a very non-Judeo-Christian view of the world, and while I am a student of languages, cultures, and foreign relations, a world view that privileges Greek and Roman-style daring and machismo above basic Golden Rule-type goodness -- is precisely the reason that I have become philosophically Christian. To my mind, the sailor Ryuji Tsukazaki is an admirable man. But to Noboru, and indeed likely to the author Yukio Mishima, he is soft and romantic and deserves what he gets. What a horror. Add to that the book's little dash of misogyny, like a cherry on top of the murder sundae.

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Extra Lives by Tom Bissell

Extra Lives: Why Video Games Matter by Tom Bissell
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Tom Bissell is an excellent writer, and I found myself riveted by all but the 5th chapter and the appendix, despite never having played the games he is discussing. Sadly he fails to draw any deep philosophical conclusions about the act of playing video games. He was very close to doing so but failed to give us an important conclusion or conclusions to wrap our mind around. Maybe he feels that's as unnecessary as justifying making or consuming art of any kind, but it seems like a cop-out.

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I Think You're Wrong (But I'm Listening) by Sarah Stewart Holland

I Think You're Wrong (But I'm Listening): A Guide to Grace-Filled Political Conversations by Sarah Stewart Holland
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Somewhat interesting, but not terribly deep. Worth considering some of the cooperative spirit discussed in this book and I'm interested in listening to the podcast, "Pantsuit Politics." I recommend "The Righteous Mind" by Jonathan Haidt which is also about understanding the other side of the political aisle but with scientific research.

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All We Ever Wanted by Emily Giffin

All We Ever Wanted by Emily Giffin
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This isn't literary, but it's very readable and topical and does it engage the reader to think about parenting, and what it means and requires.

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Political Reading 2019

In honor of tomorrow's Democratic primary debate, here's some of what I've been reading.

The 7 Democratic Candidates in the December Debate, By Polling*:

1) Joe Biden, 76, Vice President, former Senator from Delaware, read Promises to Keep (also wrote Promise Me, Dad)

2) Bernie Sanders, 77, US Senator from Vermont, read 1) Bernie Sanders Guide to Political Revolution, 2) Our Revolution (also wrote a million more books)
2) Elizabeth Warren, 69, US Senator from Massachusetts, read 1) This Fight is Our Fight, 2) A Fighting Chance, 3) All Your Worth

4) Pete Buttigieg, 37, Mayor of South Bend Indiana, read Shortest Way Home

5) Andrew Yang, 44, founder for Venture for America, read The War on Normal People
6) Amy Klobuchar, 58, US Senator from Minnesota, read The Senator Next Door
7) Tom Steyer, 62, Billionaire former hedge fund executive, not in the debates, (he doesn't have a book, he only wrote the foreword in Drawdown)

Remaining 9 Candidates by Alphabetical Order:
Michael Bennet, 54, US Senator from Colorado, read The Land of Flickering Lights
* Michael Bloomberg, 77, former Mayor of New York City, Billionaire media executive (Climate of Hope) (joined race Nov. 24)
Cory Booker, 50, US Senator from New Jersey, read United
Julian Castro, 44, Cabinet Member, HUD, Mayor of San Antonio, read An Unlikely Journey
John Delaney, 56, Congressman, Maryland 6th District, no book?
Tulsi Gabbard, 38, Congresswomen Hawaii 2nd District, (book coming in 2021, Is Today the Day?)
*Deval Patrick, 63, former Governor of Massachusetts  (joined race Nov. 14)
Joe Sestak, 67, former Congressman, not in debates, (Walking in Your Shoes to Restore the American Dream)
Marianne Williamson, 66, founder of Project Angel Food and author, lots of books I won’t read

Dropped out:
Bill de Blasio, 58, Mayor of NYC, no book
Steve Bullock, 53, Governor of Montana, (My Name Is Steve Delano Bullock)
Kirsten Gillibrand, 52, Senator from New York, read Off the Sidelines
Mike Gravel, 89, Senator from Alaska (38 years ago), not in the debates, (two books I won't read)
Kamala Harris, 54, US Senator from California, read The Truths We Hold (also wrote Smart on Crime)
John Hickenlooper, 67, Governor of Colorado, read The Opposite of Woe
Jay Inslee, 68, Governor of Washington, (Apollo’s Fire)
Wayne Messam, 44, Mayor of Miramar, Fl, not in debates, no book
Seth Moulton, 40, Congressman from Massachusetts 6th District, not in debates, (Called to Serve)
Beto O’Rourke, 46, Congressman from Texas 16th District, (Dealing Death and Drugs)
Richard Ojeda, 48, former West Virginia state senator
Tim Ryan, 45, Congressman from 16th district, (A Mindful Nation)
Eric Swalwell, 38, House representative from California's 15th

Republicans:
Donald Trump, 73, current President
Joe Walsh, 57, former Congressman from Illinois
Bill Weld, 74, former Governor of Massachusetts

Dropped out:
Mark Sanford, 59, former Governor of South Carolina

* To see all the books I read tagged Election 2020 click the link. I got my polling information here: https://projects.fivethirtyeight.com/2020-primaries/democratic/national/

Books about Election Topics of Importance:

Climate Change:
Please drop everything and read: 1) The Uninhabitable Earth: Life After Warming by David Wallace-Wells
2) Green Metropolis by David Owen
3) The Ends of the World by Peter Brannen
4) Unstoppable by Bill Nye

Protecting Democracy:
1) Report on the Investigation into Russian Interference in the 2016 Presidential Election by Robert S. Mueller III 
2) Facts and Fears: Hard Truths from a Life in Intelligence by James R. Clapper
3) How Democracies Die: What History Reveals About Our Future by Steven Levitsky
4) Good and Mad: The Revolutionary Power of Women's Anger by Rebecca Traister
5) The End of Power: From Boardrooms to Battlefields and Churches to States, Why Being In Charge Isn't What It Used to Be by Moisés Naím
6) 21 Lessons for the 21st Century by Yuval Noah Harari

A subset of Protecting Democracy- Campaign Finance/ Financial Abuse/ Income Inequality:
1) Winners Take All: The Elite Charade of Changing the World by Anand Giridharadas
2) Freefall: America, Free Markets, and the Sinking of the World Economy by Joseph E. Stiglitz
3) The Big Short: Inside the Doomsday Machine by Michael Lewis
4) The Trillion Dollar Meltdown: Easy Money, High Rollers, and the Great Credit Crash by Charles R. Morris

American Healthcare:
1) Deadly Spin: An Insurance Company Insider Speaks Out on How Corporate PR Is Killing Health Care and Deceiving Americans by Wendell Potter
2) An American Sickness: How Healthcare Became Big Business and How You Can Take It Back by Elisabeth Rosenthal

Guns: 
1) Fight like a Mother: How a Grassroots Movement Took on the Gun Lobby and Why Women Will Change the World by Shannon Watts
2) Parkland: Birth of a Movement by Dave Cullen
3) American Gun by Chris Kyle

Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed by Meghan Daum

Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed: Sixteen Writers on The Decision Not To Have Kids by Meghan Daum
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

The idea that people who choose not have children are selfish has always been completely preposterous to me. I have two children I completely love and adore, but the reasons I chose to have them were (in my opinion) "selfish, shallow, and self-absorbed" even if the actual raising of them sometimes requires saint-like patience and sacrifice. That is, I desperately wanted my own kids, my own family, little me's to shower with affection. In contrast, I think people who adopt or even those who don't have children, are way less selfish and shallow. Especially since our overpopulated planet is basically on fire now. (Sorry fellow moms, it's not a judgment on you, it's a judgment on myself.) And furthermore, I desperately want my own children to give me grandchildren one day- even at the potential cost to some of their own happiness- how's that for selfish? Additionally, my own mother seemed - quite the opposite of me- a somewhat reluctant mother. So I was very receptive to this collection, and it went beyond the ideas that I already held, enriching my overall view of other people's decisions of whether to have kids or not.

I especially enjoyed "Maternal Instinct" by Laura Kipnis which is a really interesting feminist take on the decision not to have children; "Be Here Now," by Lionel Shriver which highlights some of the racist and cultural motivations in the perpetuating the idea of reproduction in particular countries; "The Most Important Thing" by Sigrid Nunez which explored the time when having children was often a misfortune; "Over and Out" by Geoff Dyer, and “The End” by Tim Kreider. I also noticed a thread of a number of writers who felt unsatisfied with their own childhoods.

Though I noticed that for such highly intellectual and often atheistic arguments, the women in these essays never doubted the importance of the "work they wanted to do." Geoff Dyer touched on this issue a little and Tom Kreisler addressed it more directly: in a nihilistic universe, what value does your work have? Hypothetically, if we are a bunch of bacteria on a rock hurtling through space, then the value of our work probably isn't in any discernible way more significant than any other particular experience including the experience of being a parent. On the other hand, if there's a God (and maybe even if there's not) and an understanding of deep sacrificial love is the greatest earthly value or experience then maybe they're missing the mark? The authors of the essays are all professional writers so they all have work to do which is imbued with spirit in a way that many other people's jobs are not. So maybe the sacred nature of their work particularly skews their view of this issue. But for example, what particular value is Randall L. Stephenson or Michel Combes providing to the world as the CEOs of ATT and Sprint respectively? None that I can think of. But I get it, if it's your heart's passion is to be a CEO, rather than to be a parent, and as a woman, you think that being a parent will get in the way of your CEO dreams, you should do you.

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The Light of the World by Elizabeth Alexander

The Light of the World by Elizabeth Alexander
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This reminded me a lot of Joan Didion’s The Year of Magical Thinking except I liked it better because I could palpably feel the love and loss of Alexander's husband Ficre. Alexander's writing is wonderful, and to read this book is to understand love on this earth a little better.

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Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Todd Gilbert

Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Todd Gilbert
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I remember reading an article about this book that made such a big impression on me that I mentioned it to Kevin on our first date in 2006. (We have now been married 10 years.) The article: https://www.nytimes.com/2003/09/07/ma... In fact, I think I said something like, "I don't believe in happiness." I guess I'm lucky he didn't get up and immediately sprint out. Haha. It's definitely interesting though it's been so successful throughout the years that I was aware of many of the studies already.

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Tending Roses by Lisa Wingate

Tending Roses by Lisa Wingate
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

Very heavy-handed with some very preachy cheesy writing but a perfectly pleasant way to pass the time if that's what you're looking for.

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The Maze Runner by James Dashner

The Maze Runner by James Dashner
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

This is obviously not literary but it's also just bad for genre fiction: bad characters, bad plot, things are only somewhat resolved by a series of contrivances, but ultimately not actually solved. Also, if I were aiming to do what the characters are supposedly aiming to do in this book, memory loss would be an awful awful component of said plan.

I will concede that I've read worse actual writing.

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The Honest Truth About Dishonesty by Dan Ariely

The Honest Truth About Dishonesty: How We Lie to Everyone - Especially Ourselves by Dan Ariely
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

On the pro side, some of these influences are important to know about in one's personal life and in legal and policy work. On the con side, this book is pretty repetitive if you've read Ariely's other books as I have. Additionally, though I'm aware that this is all based on studies, the lack of actual moral or spiritual perspective in the book is disappointing. Compare for example Jonathan Haidt's The Happiness Hypothesis or The Righteous Mind.

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Ongoingness by Sarah Manguso

Ongoingness: The End of a Diary by Sarah Manguso
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I liked this book a lot. It's only a little bit about the author keeping a diary, it's actually about time, and life, death, and motherhood. It conjured up my horror at our our ceaseless march towards not just death but oblivion. I'm a complicated type of Christian that doesn't think the universe owes me eternity, but rather that I owe the universe a lot of sacrifice to others. So to me, as to many others, the oblivion is a real thing that makes it hard to justify the little daily acts, and losing memories- mental or physical- is very much a step towards that oblivion.

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David and Goliath: Underdogs, Misfits, and the Art of Battling Giants by Malcolm Gladwell

David and Goliath: Underdogs, Misfits, and the Art of Battling Giants by Malcolm Gladwell
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Amazing first chapter and some interesting ideas that were somewhat supported but overall not a tightly-argued or edited book. First chapter is worth rereading any time you need inspiration.

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The Shallows by Nicholas Carr

The Shallows: What the Internet Is Doing to Our Brains by Nicholas Carr
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

The interesting part of this book for me is that computers and the internet have changed how we think and how we write. I'm in a strange age group in that I both owned a typewriter as a kid and wrote a few grade school reports by hand, but mostly wrote reports for school on computers, and was already teaching myself html in college. I thought the difference that writing by hand, on the typewriter, or on the computer makes on the style of the writing is particularly interesting since Jennifer Egan says that she drafted the first version of all her novels by hand.

The book seemed a bit disorganized for me though. And it felt insufficiently researched or fleshed out especially in the science section.

I think I have a particularly strange perspective because I only began to read in such a large quantity specifically because as someone with no job or car from 2016-2018, I could get free ebooks and audiobooks from my library. I think since then, my transformation as a reader has been akin to a second college education. I've read about 200 books a year since 2016, including this year, for a total of over 800 books in 4 years. Many of those books were some serious literary tomes- such as the Bible and Moby Dick. So it's easy for me to dismiss the overwrought idea that the internet has made me unable to read serious books and concentrate on them when it's precisely the internet that has increased my reading and understanding of the world.

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Doing Justice by Preet Bharara

Doing Justice: A Prosecutor's Thoughts on Crime, Punishment, and the Rule of Law by Preet Bharara
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

It started off slowly but was a very interesting non-political book about the practice of law. I wish I'd read it in law school (though it didn't exist then). My only complaint was that I wish I could unread the chapter about cannibals though I suppose there is some value in grappling with the particular problems sociopaths when applying the law.

“Certain norms do matter. Our adversaries are not our enemies; the law is not a political weapon; objective truths do exist; fair process is essential in civilized society.”― Preet Bharara

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Dollars and Sense by Dan Ariely

Dollars and Sense: How We Misthink Money and How to Spend Smarter by Dan Ariely
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

This is a better book if you haven't already read a ton of behavioral economics. For me, it was a compilation of a lot of effects I'd already read about (for example in Ariely's Predictably Irrational). This book would be great for people who don't know that much about behavioral economics who are interested in personal finance.

I was also uncomfortable with the way the authors veered into territory that was somewhat morality- based without a holistic view of the issue. I fear economics often makes this mistake, but to my mind, behavioral economics is more sophisticated and shouldn't make this error. We've rejected the idea that humans make the most rational economic decisions. We've also learned that morality can be very closely tied to empathy and other emotional systems. So I didn't find the section on "fairness" to very sophisticated with regards to current economics, psychology, biology, or ethics research. Sure, you should pay the locksmith his rate for the reasons stated in this book, but I disagree that you shouldn't battle large companies like Netflix or Uber when they do something you consider unfair- and certainly when they do unethical things.

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She Stoops to Conquer by Oliver Goldsmith

She Stoops to Conquer by Oliver Goldsmith
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

The central problem in this play is that Mr. Marlow believes himself to be too modest to speak to women of a high class. He states his trouble in this way, “[a]n impudent fellow may counterfeit modesty, but I’ll be hanged if a modest man can ever counterfeit impudence.” But we soon learn that he's a complete douchebag. But I think that's the point. Hilarity ensues! And it's actually pretty funny.

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Fight like a Mother by Shannon Watts

Fight like a Mother: How a Grassroots Movement Took on the Gun Lobby and Why Women Will Change the World by Shannon Watts
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

More than a book about gun policy! It's a book about activism, feminism, intersectionality, and generally making the world a better place. Strongly recommend this book!

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Why Diets Make Us Fat by Sandra Aamodt

Why Diets Make Us Fat: The Unintended Consequences of Our Obsession with Weight Loss by Sandra Aamodt
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

This strikes me as an irresponsible title and first few chapters. The author has clearly looked at a lot of weight studies, though she’s often drawn aggressive conclusions that all diets make you gain weight. Some of the diets aren’t even diets but actual periods of starvation that caused food-related psychological issues.

As the author herself states, there are numerous reasons why people gain weight, not just as the first few chapters suggest, the actual act of dieting. By Chapter 9, she’s listing people who can’t lose weight through intuitive eating. By Chapter 10, she’s discussing how the food environment is itself a huge factor in causing weight gain.

She’s also underplayed the importance of achieving a lower weight- even temporarily- to lifespan.

Maybe start with Chapter 11, and read chapters 1-10 in backward order.


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Smoke Gets in Your Eyes by Caitlin Doughty

Smoke Gets in Your Eyes: And Other Lessons from the Crematory by Caitlin Doughty
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Really engaging account of a young woman obsessed with death who takes a job in the mortuary and cremation industry. Doughty also answers a lot of typical questions about the care of a body after death. I've lost loved ones and I was really curious about some of the things she explains. I strongly agree that mourners should have more time to sit with the body immediately after death. A tradition of sitting with the unaltered body afterwards would be highly beneficial to some of us.

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The Scientific American Brave New Brain by Judith Horstman

The Scientific American Brave New Brain by Judith Horstman
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

This is just a short popular-science book full of the basics of neuroscience and a lot predictions about the future based on early research and science fiction imagination. Nothing amazing here, but a pleasant quick read.

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The Social Animal by David Brooks

The Social Animal: The Hidden Sources of Love, Character, and Achievement by David Brooks
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

The beginning was really good. It was a compilation of the science of human thinking and culture with a hypothetical couple as a storytelling vehicle. But at the end, there were a lot of Brooks's own political views without enough research cited. Frequently Brooks made policy assumptions or cited correlations with no clear explanation of why he was assuming causation. Correlation is not causation! Say it ten times before bed every night!

5 stars for the beginning and end, 2 stars for the word vomit in the politics section.

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Reviving Ophelia 25th Anniversary Edition by Mary Pipher

Reviving Ophelia 25th Anniversary Edition: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls by Mary Pipher
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I read the 2019 anniversary edition and I imagine it's a lot better than the original because it could compare and contrast the problems of young girls in different decades: the 1990s (when I was a teen) and the early 2000s. Though I thought the book was interesting, it was made up predominantly of personal stories and seemed to lack more rigorous science. For example, I never understood precisely what about the culture made girls in the 1990s such a mess that somehow lost its influence in the early 2000s.

Occasionally, the author writes something that makes her seem like a space alien that didn't have anyone proofread the book like for example when she suggested you should never have more than two drinks in a day. Parties?

I thought chapter 13 had some of the most useful information in terms of sparking conversation with children about sexual activity. I also enjoyed the heavy Nebraska focus.

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Fair Play by Eve Rodsky

Fair Play: A Game-Changing Solution for When You Have Too Much to Do by Eve Rodsky
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

This book is only for two-parent homes struggling to find a balance in at-home responsibilities. There were a lot of things it left unaddressed- such as workaholic spouses, or as numerous reviews stated, any kind of lower-class home (where for example maybe one person works a night shift). If you want it only for that very limited area, it's helpful.

I happen to have a husband who is not only doing a fair amount but might also be doing an equal amount (or more?). But one thing I've noticed in my friends' relationships-- that this book addresses (though perhaps not clearly enough) is that many mothers take on a bunch of tasks that are actually not at all important to their husbands. I think the reason I notice this so much is because I'm not the type of mother who feels like we need to craft for every holiday or decorate to excess or aggressively participate in my children's homework etc. I have "husband standards" for many things. So when I see a friend who is a mother sign each of her kid up for three activities and then bemoan that her husband won't help with all of them- I silently agree with the husband. Her standard is just too high in my opinion. That's why I think the most valuable part of this book is the part where she makes couples agree on their values and what tasks need to get done before they apportion those tasks. The more tasks you can just completely take off the list so that neither person has to do them, the better, in my opinion.

I've been recommending this book to people I know might benefit from it.

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Humorous Stories and Sketches by Mark Twain

Humorous Stories and Sketches by Mark Twain
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

Most of these stories didn't pass the test of time, but I enjoyed "The Private History of a Campaign that Failed," about some Confederate soldiers who avoid fighting in the Civil War.

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In the Year of the Boar and Jackie Robinson by Bette Bao Lord

In the Year of the Boar and Jackie Robinson by Bette Bao Lord
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

My 3rd grader was assigned this book in school so I read it too. The author made some strange choices for a book for young children. I was surprised it was published in the 1980s, because it reads like it was published in the 1940s, the period of time it covers. This all somewhat complicated by the fact that the book is semi-autobiographical but for a children's book the out-of-date quality makes it seem like it should no longer be the go-to book for reading assignments.

1) The conversation regarding "negro" students was uncomfortable without providing enlightenment to young readers.

2) Shirley and her friend take a blood oath. While children have done that sort of thing forever- it's not great to have young readers pick up on this idea without adults explaining how dangerous this practice is.

3) Shirley and her friend look at a book of naked pictures and while Shirley's view is comical, I'm left wondering how my prepubescent 3rd grader will understand this scene.

There are many more examples of things that read poorly in 2019.

From the title you would assume this book would cover some important race or immigrant issues, but it sort of just drops in the issues without really resolving anything in a way that would be meaningful to children or even adults. A swing and a miss, to borrow the language of baseball.

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The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang

The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

This was cute. The “romance” aspect didn’t move me emotionally but surprisingly was more on the smutty side of romance books.

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Still Alice by Lisa Genova

Still Alice by Lisa Genova
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I appreciated the way this took me inside the life and experiences of someone going through something so different, and those experiences were so unexpected and real.

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Feminism is for Everybody by bell hooks

Feminism is for Everybody: Passionate Politics by bell hooks
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I really enjoyed this essay collection which prominently features intersectionality, the co-opting of feminism by capitalism, and why feminism benefits men, as well as a little bit of history about the movement. I don't think it's a feminism starter book though, and it helps to have a little bit of background in the movement before tackling this one.

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The Fast 800 by Michael Mosley

The Fast 800: How to Combine Rapid Weight Loss and Intermittent Fasting for Long-Term Health by Michael Mosley
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

In 2015, I did 5:2 and lost about 15 pounds. I stopped doing the diet and gained back the weight in two years. I lost the weight at the same slow rate as I have on any other diet (WW, Atkins, arbitrary calorie limitation). Back then, time-restricted eating wasn't a big thing but I quickly realized that if I was going to limit to 500 calories I had to put off eating as long as possible. Since I've gained the weight back and read tons of diet and nutrition books, I've come to the conclusion that all diets work, the only really hard part is maintenance. I actually think this is a diet I could stay on forever this time because it only requires Mediterranean-style eating once you reach goal weight and if you don't stop weighing yourself, you can correct small weight gains very quickly.

I like this diet because 1) based on all my reading, it is the most scientifically up-to-date, 2) it's free to implement it, 3) I find it very empowering to be able to skip breakfast and do very low-calorie days but also to be able to easily take days off, 4) I think I might be able to maintain this new form. I advise you to take every single thing he says very seriously though. I even have a friend-support group this time.

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The Secret Life of the Grown-up Brain by Barbara Strauch

The Secret Life of the Grown-up Brain: The Surprising Talents of the Middle-Aged Mind by Barbara Strauch
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I was interested in the section that claimed that older adults are more easily distractable. I wonder about what causes this with children, adults, and myself. This book has other little nuggets of interesting science but despite its short length, it was full of filler anecdotes and contradictory information. While I found it interesting and entertaining, it's not sufficiently scientifically vigorous that I'd recommend it to others.

I read this because it was one of my dad's books, but because it came out in 2010, the year he died, I'm not sure he actually read it. It's just as well because he didn't have much of an opportunity to revel in his middle-aged wisdom.

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What We Talk About When We Talk About Love by Raymond Carver

What We Talk About When We Talk About Love by Raymond Carver
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I really only liked the first story, "Why Don't You Dance?"

I didn't even like the title story that much, though I did like this one quote in it: "Well, the husband was very depressed for the longest while. Even after he found out that his wife was going to pull through, he was still very depressed. Not about the accident, though. I mean, the accident was one thing, but it wasn't everything. I'd get up to his mouth-hole, you know, and he'd say no, it wasn't the accident exactly but it was because he couldn't see her through his eye-holes. He said that was what was making him feel bad. Can you imagine? I'm telling you, the man's heart was breaking because he couldn't turn his goddamn head and see his goddamn wife.'"

Took me much longer to read this collection than I expected given how short it is.

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The Ice Queen by Alice Hoffman

The Ice Queen by Alice Hoffman
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

If you have experienced the kind of loss that I have experienced- and I know a lot of people have- it can nonetheless feel like no one really gets it. Well here is proof of the transformative power of death, life, and love packaged in a fairy tale. I'm wrecked like someone tore my chest cavity apart. Thank you, Alice Hoffman.

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Well Met by Jen DeLuca

Well Met by Jen DeLuca
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Really cute romance with some steamy bits. I enjoyed the renaissance fair aspect though I was hoping for more there, unfortunately, the protagonist Emily says many times she can't explore the fair. This would make a really fabulous romance movie though and I hope someone makes it a movie because I'll be the first one in line. (Anyone else picturing a young Dread Pirate Robert as Simon?)

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My Time Among the Whites by Jennine Capo Crucet

My Time Among the Whites: Notes from an Unfinished Education by Jennine Capo Crucet
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Capo Crucet is a Cuban-American woman that's approximately my age that moved to Nebraska, and I'm a Cuban-American that moved to Nebraska, so I was pretty excited to read this collection. I don't have the same Florida ties but I did live in a particularly Cuban-area of New Jersey until I was 6.

I could definitely relate to some of the ideas expressed by the author. For example, I also always have to field the "have I ever visited Cuba" question. Capo Crucet didn't explain why that one is tough (which she probably should have given her audience), so let me do it: the laws regarding travel to Cuba are complicated, and if you seek to do it legally, it's tough. You can't access American cash over there, so currency will be an issue. Additionally, many Cuban-Americans support the embargo against Cuba, so even if you don't personally, get ready to face the ire of many friends and family. But that's not really an answer that you have time to give every single time you're asked, and I get asked a lot.

I particularly liked the essay about her marriage, moving to Nebraska, and then crashing a bunch of weddings. I thought it was really vivid and interesting, and her feelings were palpable.

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The Wife Between Us by Greer Hendricks, Sarah Pekkanen

The Wife Between Us by Greer Hendricks, Sarah Pekkanen
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I'm a reverse review on this one. Unlike most other reviews, I liked the beginning and not the end. I was intrigued at first and guessed some of plot points. I was interested in the characters as well. But then things got silly and the writing simultaneously went downhill.

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Before the Fall by Noah Hawley

Before the Fall by Noah Hawley
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I really liked this book! It fails to fall neatly into any categories; it's a mystery/ not-quite-a-thriller with many literary qualities. From the beginning, you know who has died and only subsequently do you grow to know the players involved. But the real theme of the book is media, society, art, and death.

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Existentialism by Jean-Paul Sartre

Existentialism by Jean-Paul Sartre
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Just a short explanation of Sartre's views on what Existentialism is and is not. Neither the philosophy nor this book did much for me.

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Winners Take All by Anand Giridharadas

Winners Take All: The Elite Charade of Changing the World by Anand Giridharadas
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This is one of those books that really changed my perspective-- which is such a gift. I was certainly open to what he had to say, but there were many concepts in here that I hadn't considered in the way that Giridharadas analyzes it. Part of my preparation for this book includes having already read 56 "popular nonfiction" economics books and some additional behavioral economics books. I'm not sure if someone who doesn't otherwise read economics books would be open to the concepts in here.

The basic premise is that the richest 1% claim to be trying to help with social problems but what they should actually do is pay their employees living wages so that they don't need charity, stop polluting the environment so that the subsequent disaster areas don't need charity money, stop lobbying against things that help the 99% of citizens like regulations, stop creating tax shelters so that government can't function properly, stop impeding government in general. In other words, instead of being bad guys and covering up their sins with philanthropy, they should stop being bad guys. In addition, actual income equality creates a huge power inequality. Democracy cannot work when a small percent of the population wields such disproportionate power. Part of that is the money itself, part of that is the disaster of current day finance regulations. The central thesis is that the rich can't even fix problems with philanthropy because their solutions involve mostly self-interested band-aids that don't address the underlying causes: them.

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Will You Please Be Quiet, Please? by Raymond Carver

Will You Please Be Quiet, Please? by Raymond Carver
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

There were 22 stories in this collection, and I especially enjoyed 5 of them: They're Not Your Husband, Neighbors, What's in Alaska, Bicycles, and the title story. Carver seems especially good at the sadness of disappointment though Bicycles, in particular, seemed like the opposite- about a boy's admiration of his father. I have been told I need to read What We Talk About When We Talk About Love.

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Wasted by Marya Hornbacher

Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia by Marya Hornbacher
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Riveting memoir with very interesting insights into family, psychology, loneliness, and life in general. Kindle and Goodreads tell me that I highlighted 49 sentences or passages, which should give you an idea of how much I valued this writing. A lot of people are overly focused on the fact that the memoir is about the author's struggle with anorexia, but to me, the part I valued most was the author's honest and brilliantly written struggle with despair, depression, and just life itself. It is a bit lopsided because she discusses her pseudo-recoveries after her first two hospitalizations but not after the third, but perhaps her next memoir, which I plan to read, covers that more.

As I said, I highlighted many sentences in the memoir, but this one is so me, haha: "I was my parents' only child, which is unfortunate because you are their pride and joy and the bane of their existence all at once."

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Mala by Melinda Lopez

Mala by Melinda Lopez
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This is so unbelievably good. This is the (Cuban-American) Boomer/ Gen X Death of Ivan Ilyich. Also if you want an approximation of many of the things (but definitely not all) I personally experienced with my dad's and my mother's deaths this is eerily close. My parents were very young though, my dad was 61 and my mom was late 50s. They very much did not want to die and were very scared. Both fought to the end, though my mother did agree to hospice in what turned out to be her last month. She didn't call me "mala" but it was strongly implied any time I tried to restrict any of her choices which I avoided a great deal.

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Stamped from the Beginning by Ibram X. Kendi

Stamped from the Beginning: The Definitive History of Racist Ideas in America by Ibram X. Kendi
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Excellent history and analysis of racism in America. Definitely expanded the way I think about the discourse in this country. Some examination of sexism and intersectionality though it wasn't the central focus. I was persuaded that racism is not caused by ignorance (because who is that dumb at this point?) but as a tool to oppress both black and white populations.

I found almost every paragraph riveting, but here is a favorite:
The Mennonites did not intend to leave behind one site of oppression to build another in America. Mennonites therefore circulated an antislavery petition on April 18, 1688. “There is a saying, that we shall doe to all men like as we will be done ourselves; making no difference of what generation, descent or colour they are,” they wrote. “In Europe there are many oppressed” for their religion, and “here those are oppressed” for their “black colour.” Both oppressions were wrong. Actually, as an oppressor, America “surpass[ed] Holland and Germany.” Africans had the “right to fight for their freedom.” The 1688 Germantown Petition Against Slavery was the inaugural antiracist tract among European settlers in colonial America. Beginning with this piece, the Golden Rule would forever inspire the cause of White antiracists. Antiracists of all races—whether out of altruism or intelligent self-interest—would always recognize that preserving racial hierarchy simultaneously preserves ethnic, gender, class, sexual, age, and religious hierarchies. Human hierarchies of any kind, they understood, would do little more than oppress all of humanity.

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Quit Like a Millionaire by Kristy Shen, Bryce Leung

Quit Like a Millionaire: No Gimmicks, Luck, or Trust Fund Required by Kristy Shen, Bryce Leung
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

She has some good points and ideas (though she seems to willfully ignore Dave Ramsey's existence) and I'll definitely raise this one more star if I manage to implement her investing concepts. We are committed to living in our house until the kids (and probably after) are out of school and I'm not even sure how much of what she talks about applies in that very common situation.

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The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami

The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This is the 8th Murakami book I've read and definitely in the top three for me along with Norwegian Wood and After Dark. The short of it is that Toru Okada is having some angst after leaving his legal job (I relate to that!) when things get very magically weird and his wife leaves him in mysterious circumstances. Interwoven with that is a bunch of truly horrific World War II stories from the perspective of Japanese soldiers in Mongolia, China, and Russia.

Beyond that, it's really difficult to explain what I think the book's deeper meaning is about. It's pretty complex; to give you a rough idea, it's very long and I can't actually think of any scenes that could have been cut. I pretty much always think editors should have slashed down long books. Unlike many Murakami novels, it actually mostly made sense even though it was full of literal magic. I wasn't prepared for such an in-depth exploration of violence, and I think this fantasy book also deserves a horror classification.


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Pirates Past Noon by Mary Pope Osborne

Pirates Past Noon by Mary Pope Osborne
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

The true story of the Magic Tree House is revealed in this one. I think I'm good to go with the series now. I won't be reading or buying any more unless my daughter falls in love with the first 4 and demands them or something. My son isn't impressed either but he's already 8 and he's a pretty strong reader.

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